Now if you are someone who is struggling with an eating disorder, I would suggest you read my story about my personal battle with it and a couple of tips on what to do if you are struggling at the moment.
Just know that you are not alone, and you should not battle this alone. It can be a very dark place, and it is a huge struggle, to live with an eating disorder. Please, tell your family, and you need to seek help! This can completely ruin your life and all the wonderful things you can do.
You deserve to be happy, just as much as everyone else does! Don’t dwell into this bad disorder, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel if one is eager to go to the end and see the light!
Here is my story!
So, I have been through a few eating disorders, from my early teenage years, up until my twenties. From eating too little to eating huge amounts of food.
I have always been very skinny, I think it had to do with genes; both of my parents were quite skinny until their mid-thirties.
I remember I could eat anything, a couple of chocolate bars a week and never even cared or thought about “bad” and “good” food. And was still, always skinny.
I remember the very first time I heard about diets, was from my best friend at the time. She told me that apparently eating bread is bad, carbs are bad, pasta is bad and other bits that kinda got to me, but I never did anything drastically up until, my parents divorced and I went through a difficult period, so I comforted myself with loads of junk food, loads of sweets, sodas and etc.
So I gained a couple of kilograms, but nothing too much, I wasn’t overweight or anything, I was still in a healthy weight.
But then my father told me that I am “chubby” and need to lose weight.
Now I am going to stop here for a second, to just say that, if you are a parent, or whenever you have children, please, please, be very careful about what you say about their weight, how much they eat, and things like that. Because it can traumatize your child and can lead to eating disorders. Obviously there are things you can say, like eat more veg, and eat less sugar, but telling them what weight they need to be, and how they should look can only bring negativity to your child.
So, after my father said that, I remember I started “dieting”
I started eating a lot less, stopped eating bread because bread is bad, remember. Stopped eating sugar, started snacking on carrots, started counting carbs.
I was so focused on avoiding carbohydrates. I was reading that carbs were bad, my friends were telling me that carbs are bad. I hated carbs!
But I started reading different theories and discovered – the calories! I read that you need a certain amount of calories per day, so I became obsessed with counting calories since that day. But at least I started eating more carbohydrates and realized that carbohydrates are not so bad, it’s all to do with how much calories you consume during the day that leads to weight gain.
I lost a lot of weight, was so obsessed with what I ate, thought about food all the time, hated social interactions that involved going out to eat, because I would only eat certain food, I stopped drinking sodas, stopped any junk and fried food, basically I was living on vegetables, soups, chicken, eggs, and occasional rice and potatoes.
I still remember the starvation I went through. I also thought that women should be skinny to be beautiful, that this is the price I needed to pay in order to be seen beautiful.
I was underweight, my period stopped, but I didn’t care, I needed to be skinny!
When I turned 18, I left my home country, to chase a dream of mine to work as a Chef. It was a very stressful and difficult period in my life once again. So what did I do? I binged on food again! From being severely underweight, I gained 12 kilograms (about 2 stones) in 4 months. I was depressed, my very first job as a chef was extremely difficult. I was mistreated at work, and I would go home binging on food to feel better, and I used food to comfort my pain.
I started having stretch marks at the age of 18, I started feeling ugly and fat and I would diet for a day, then would go back to binging to make myself feel better, then hate myself again. It was a rollercoaster.
I got in a toxic relationship, which made my depression worse and most definitely did not help my eating disorder, because once again, I was using food to comfort myself.
So eventually my relationship fell apart, and I was so depressed and stressed that this time, it had the opposite effect; I stopped eating. I lost nearly 13kg ( about 2.5 stones ) in 2 months!
My period had only just been back for a couple of months, but it stopped again after losing all the weight.
I was once again severely underweight.
After a couple of months, I started reading a lot about healthy food and healthy eating, so I started eating healthier and stopped eating meat. I had a cheat day once a week, to allow myself to eat all the foods I craved. Until I no longer needed to binge on cravings, because nowadays, every time I crave something, I just eat it in moderation. I don’t forbid any food.
I educated myself.
This is what I learned from my eating disorders:
1. I used food to comfort my sadness and depression.
2. Food was the only thing I would look forward to, which means I made it the main source of my happiness.
3. I used food to avoid facing my problems and issues within me.
So what I did:
1. I started eating healthy and being in a healthy weight helped me with my depression, because I knew, that at least one thing was going well in my life, and I felt good within my own skin.
2. I stopped using food as being the main source of my happiness, I tried to find happiness in other stuff and kept myself busy and I tried to be productive so I don’t think about food too much.
3. I faced my problems, and started being realistic about everything and stopped trying to blame people, circumstances and bad childhood for my problems and struggles.I started to address the issues and tried to fix them, rather than avoiding them and bury them with emotional eating.
The bottom line:
If you have an eating disorder, you should take some time to think about WHY you have it. You have to be honest with yourself, and you need to FACE the issues!
Couple of factors to look out for that might be the reason:
1. Could it be, that you feel pressured by family, friends, and society about the way you should look and weight?
2. Could it be, that you are depressed?
3. Have you been through some sort of trauma, or suffer from PTSD ( Post Traumatic Stress Disorder )? If Yes, please seek help from a professional who will help you get through this. Talking to someone about your traumas, feelings, and problems can be very helpful and relieving.
4. Are you suffering from low-self esteem?
5. Have you recently been through stressful transitions or life changes?
Consider these factors, and if you are someone who is struggling with an eating disorder, please seek help from a professional if you can’t battle it yourself.
I made it my life’s purpose to encourage people to eat healthy, because eating healthy will not only make your life a lot better and happier, but you will also feel healthy, be healthier, and potentially live longer.
A healthy lifestyle will reduce the chances of having:
Type 2 diabetes,
Its scientifically proven, that a healthy, mainly plant-based diet can reverse a lot of diseases.
Your skin will clear up from acne, it won’t also be dry.
Your hair will be soft and glossy.
You will feel more energetic and positive. If you feel positive and healthy within yourself, you will reflect that from the outside too!
You will be happier.
A happy home means a happy family, and our bodies, they are our homes!
So take care of your homes!